UNEMPLOYMENT DOESN'T PAY
So, I’m unemployed now. Years of hard work moving up (and down) the management ladder and for what? Those of you who’ve known me since before 1996 must have been laughing your rear ends off (if you didn’t like me – thinking snidely “Sam couldn’t sell his lousy scripts and had to revert to what he hated most… business.”) or constantly wondering “What the… Sam as a suit and tie guy?” (if you did like me). Well, over these last seven years as I’ve worked hard to learn business – management systems, operations, guest relations, personnel development and personal development, etc., etc. – I’ve been moderately successful. I’ve had a lot of failures which I (most of the time) learned from. I’ve also had a few successes (most of the time a result of learning from a failure). All of this has led to now. Unemployment!
At my job before this final one I made many great strides in my three plus years there. I showed the company that I was the guy who can lead a team to practicing operations as dictated by the corporate Guidelines. I’m a real by-the-book kind of guy and I am pretty good at convincing others to be the same (or I let them go work somewhere else, if I cannot convince them). My work week was usually 50 to 60 hours at the actual place of business with ten or so hours or work at home. But there were those weeks where I’d work up to 100 hours! What the?! I wasn’t an attorney and I sure as hell wasn’t earning as much. 100 hours is way too much work. I was pleased with my performance and happy with the praise from the higher ups, but wanted more time to be me, to enjoy my life, so I changed jobs to one where I knew the work load would not require as many hours. Whoo-hoo… free time!
My last job offered lots more free time. I studied chess like a maniac and increased my rating by 300 points in three years. If someone is really progressing well they should increase about 50 points a year so I was ecstatic about doing double that. I was able to take Japanese language classes which I’d wanted to do for years. But… isn’t there always that nasty word “but” butting into our happy little lives. But I was not happy. At the new job the work was mostly nights. So, I was lucky to see my wife one or two nights a week and I almost never saw her on the weekends since that was a prime business time. Also, the new company it turned out was notorious for hiring from the outside to fill positions, so promotions were near nonexistent. Great, I walked into the classic dead-end job. Brilliant job Sam.
INSERT SEMI-INTERESTING ANECDOTE HERE:
A few weeks back I was having a conversation with Bruce, my last boss before becoming unemployed, and he was telling me about his management style. Bruce, of course, was hired from the outside (to fill a vacant position above me and my other unpromoted manager colleagues) two years after I came to the company. He is a catch-phrase repeater which is always good in business. Apparently most companies (and in particular this one) don’t really care about actual performance; what they do care about is the ability to repeat the mantras set forth by some Operations Head who has never worked in the operations which they head, but somehow (possibly nepotism, cronyism or favoritism) hoodwink and bamboozle the top dogs enough to get themselves into a position of power – I almost envy them, but I unfortunately have honor and integrity. As I was saying, Bruce was delivering his spiel of nicely woven catch phrases. Try not to vomit as I do my best to recreate his web of wonder, “You know how I spell management?” Here he pauses for effect. Well, done Bruce. You are a real orator. “Team.” Another pause. “There is no I in Team.” Here I had to control my need to regurgitate into my lap. “Only as a team can we really move the needle and make an impact. I don’t really run the day to day operations; you guys do.” No shit jerk-o. So give me your job and pay me for it! Sorry, that just slipped out; but luckily I was able to not spew chucks all over the place or actually say what I just said as he continued on. “I’m just another member of the team.” It is actually also quite acceptable in many businesses to refer to your self as the Coach of the team, but this tactic is also pretty common. And here I always wonder, if you are just another member of the team, like me, then how about we reduce your salary to my level; you wouldn’t be so happy with that would you? In fact, you’d go play for another team. Or better yet, raise my salary to your level since we’re equal team players. Ha, like that would ever happen. “It’s you guys who actually make an impact.” Well, if that’s the case I should be paid more than you, bonehead. “I just happen to have a longer title than you. The only reason my title is longer is because I’m the poor dumb sap who stuck around longer than anyone else.” And here the textbook speech makes me want to strangle him. This moron is so used to the same old speech that he doesn’t even know or remember that I’ve been around three times as long as him. Welcome to the wonderful world of corporate America.
Exit anecdote and return to main body:
As a corporate man you make huge, beautiful cakes. The inside should be moist and filling and the icing a shiny glaze of sweetness. This is delivered to the top dogs to savor and show off as you hope that you are allowed to keep a few of the crumbs that fall away. And for many people that is fulfilling. As it should be. We need businesses and we need businessmen. We will never be a society of agrarian philosophers.
But… there that word rears its ugly head again! I wanted something different. Remember in “Taxi Driver” (if you have not watched this movie, immediately use the fastest mode of transportation available to you and go to the nearest video store and rent it and come directly home and spend approximately two hours in one of the most heavenly hell’s ever created!)…
There, now that we know you’ve seen “Taxi Driver” we can continue. Remember when Wizard (Peter Boyle) is giving Travis (Robert De Niro) the whole a man is what a man does speech. Do you believe that our occupation defines us? In the Japanese concept of “Uchi – Soto” this is very much the case. Is it the same world wide? I don’t know, but… (<-- Damn that word).
Since we know we will never be that beautiful Jeffersonian ideal of a society of agrarian philosophers, business enterprise is necessary to fill our needs of food, shelter, stimulation, etc., etc. But how am I to be defined? I decided not to be defined as a business man. Instead I took the easy road. I am now unemployed. Really now, actually I am going back to school in search of a graduate degree. It will probably be a long hard road, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy is it? Am I right in my search for happiness in the workplace? Do coal miners or garbage men love what they do? Should we seek happiness in our work or just grin and bear it until we retire and hope that we live a few years blissfully retired in Florida?
Since we most likely only have one shot at this thing we call life I’ve decided to go for it. Don’t get me wrong. I am a big fan of Buddha and Buddhism and I hope that reincarnation is the natural order of things. I’d love to come back and live again. And again. And again. (Repeat ad infinitum). Even if I came back as a snail I’d love to meet my wife as a sexy snailette and share some snail love with my snail wife as we live at a snail’s pace our little snail’s life. But I cannot count on that. So for now I am broke and happy. I’m looking at the future and I see opportunity in the expanse of the unknown.
Is bright eyed and sunny Sam in for a rude awakening in the future? Who knows? For now I’m just going to enjoy my optimism. Yes, I know. Unemployment doesn’t pay; BUT I’m betting that hard work and effort will.
At my job before this final one I made many great strides in my three plus years there. I showed the company that I was the guy who can lead a team to practicing operations as dictated by the corporate Guidelines. I’m a real by-the-book kind of guy and I am pretty good at convincing others to be the same (or I let them go work somewhere else, if I cannot convince them). My work week was usually 50 to 60 hours at the actual place of business with ten or so hours or work at home. But there were those weeks where I’d work up to 100 hours! What the?! I wasn’t an attorney and I sure as hell wasn’t earning as much. 100 hours is way too much work. I was pleased with my performance and happy with the praise from the higher ups, but wanted more time to be me, to enjoy my life, so I changed jobs to one where I knew the work load would not require as many hours. Whoo-hoo… free time!
My last job offered lots more free time. I studied chess like a maniac and increased my rating by 300 points in three years. If someone is really progressing well they should increase about 50 points a year so I was ecstatic about doing double that. I was able to take Japanese language classes which I’d wanted to do for years. But… isn’t there always that nasty word “but” butting into our happy little lives. But I was not happy. At the new job the work was mostly nights. So, I was lucky to see my wife one or two nights a week and I almost never saw her on the weekends since that was a prime business time. Also, the new company it turned out was notorious for hiring from the outside to fill positions, so promotions were near nonexistent. Great, I walked into the classic dead-end job. Brilliant job Sam.
INSERT SEMI-INTERESTING ANECDOTE HERE:
A few weeks back I was having a conversation with Bruce, my last boss before becoming unemployed, and he was telling me about his management style. Bruce, of course, was hired from the outside (to fill a vacant position above me and my other unpromoted manager colleagues) two years after I came to the company. He is a catch-phrase repeater which is always good in business. Apparently most companies (and in particular this one) don’t really care about actual performance; what they do care about is the ability to repeat the mantras set forth by some Operations Head who has never worked in the operations which they head, but somehow (possibly nepotism, cronyism or favoritism) hoodwink and bamboozle the top dogs enough to get themselves into a position of power – I almost envy them, but I unfortunately have honor and integrity. As I was saying, Bruce was delivering his spiel of nicely woven catch phrases. Try not to vomit as I do my best to recreate his web of wonder, “You know how I spell management?” Here he pauses for effect. Well, done Bruce. You are a real orator. “Team.” Another pause. “There is no I in Team.” Here I had to control my need to regurgitate into my lap. “Only as a team can we really move the needle and make an impact. I don’t really run the day to day operations; you guys do.” No shit jerk-o. So give me your job and pay me for it! Sorry, that just slipped out; but luckily I was able to not spew chucks all over the place or actually say what I just said as he continued on. “I’m just another member of the team.” It is actually also quite acceptable in many businesses to refer to your self as the Coach of the team, but this tactic is also pretty common. And here I always wonder, if you are just another member of the team, like me, then how about we reduce your salary to my level; you wouldn’t be so happy with that would you? In fact, you’d go play for another team. Or better yet, raise my salary to your level since we’re equal team players. Ha, like that would ever happen. “It’s you guys who actually make an impact.” Well, if that’s the case I should be paid more than you, bonehead. “I just happen to have a longer title than you. The only reason my title is longer is because I’m the poor dumb sap who stuck around longer than anyone else.” And here the textbook speech makes me want to strangle him. This moron is so used to the same old speech that he doesn’t even know or remember that I’ve been around three times as long as him. Welcome to the wonderful world of corporate America.
Exit anecdote and return to main body:
As a corporate man you make huge, beautiful cakes. The inside should be moist and filling and the icing a shiny glaze of sweetness. This is delivered to the top dogs to savor and show off as you hope that you are allowed to keep a few of the crumbs that fall away. And for many people that is fulfilling. As it should be. We need businesses and we need businessmen. We will never be a society of agrarian philosophers.
But… there that word rears its ugly head again! I wanted something different. Remember in “Taxi Driver” (if you have not watched this movie, immediately use the fastest mode of transportation available to you and go to the nearest video store and rent it and come directly home and spend approximately two hours in one of the most heavenly hell’s ever created!)…
There, now that we know you’ve seen “Taxi Driver” we can continue. Remember when Wizard (Peter Boyle) is giving Travis (Robert De Niro) the whole a man is what a man does speech. Do you believe that our occupation defines us? In the Japanese concept of “Uchi – Soto” this is very much the case. Is it the same world wide? I don’t know, but… (<-- Damn that word).
Since we know we will never be that beautiful Jeffersonian ideal of a society of agrarian philosophers, business enterprise is necessary to fill our needs of food, shelter, stimulation, etc., etc. But how am I to be defined? I decided not to be defined as a business man. Instead I took the easy road. I am now unemployed. Really now, actually I am going back to school in search of a graduate degree. It will probably be a long hard road, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy is it? Am I right in my search for happiness in the workplace? Do coal miners or garbage men love what they do? Should we seek happiness in our work or just grin and bear it until we retire and hope that we live a few years blissfully retired in Florida?
Since we most likely only have one shot at this thing we call life I’ve decided to go for it. Don’t get me wrong. I am a big fan of Buddha and Buddhism and I hope that reincarnation is the natural order of things. I’d love to come back and live again. And again. And again. (Repeat ad infinitum). Even if I came back as a snail I’d love to meet my wife as a sexy snailette and share some snail love with my snail wife as we live at a snail’s pace our little snail’s life. But I cannot count on that. So for now I am broke and happy. I’m looking at the future and I see opportunity in the expanse of the unknown.
Is bright eyed and sunny Sam in for a rude awakening in the future? Who knows? For now I’m just going to enjoy my optimism. Yes, I know. Unemployment doesn’t pay; BUT I’m betting that hard work and effort will.
posted by Sam Barboo at 1:39 PM
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